The Selfish Girls Guide to Shifting Gears

My husband went to his company summer picnic over the weekend where they golfed for the day and then went back to the VP's house for a barbecue. It sounds as though a good time was had by all ? most people were on their best behavior. The interesting part to me was that my husband won the grand prize of the party. When he told me this, I held my breath, thinking it was a trip to Vegas like usual. "No, honey," he said.

"It's much better than that!" You'll never believe what it was!.It was a $500 luxury grill!.A what?!!.Right here was where I had to shift gears.

You see, I was expecting an all expense paid trip for two to Las Vegas. That's what they always give away ? well, until this year anyway. Why do we need another grill? We already have 3 ? two that we don't use and a two-year-old one that works perfectly. What a waste!!.

But wait. My husband was excited. He had this huge smile plastered on his face that I knew wouldn't come off for anything. So, instead of being selfish, I tried to be excited for him."What makes a grill a "luxury" grill worth $500?" I asked. Ok, so I tried.

He said to me, "Well, it's like the difference between a BMW and your car.".Touché.

I just smiled and said, "Wow! Congratulations. Does this mean you'll be cooking dinner tonight?" I just had to get one more jab in."Of course!" Boy, he's hard to get.Ok. So now I had to totally shift gears into being truly happy for him. I love to see him happy and smiling and he loves for me to rib him a little.

That's easy to do.He cooked dinner for me and I smiled and did the dishes for him.See how easy life can be when you shift gears?.What does shifting gears mean?.Shifting gears is the process of shifting your focus from what you don't want to what you do want (or want to be). It's the space in between or the neutral territory.

In this story, I was trying to shift out of being the selfish wife to being the happy and supportive wife. Eventually, I was able to get there, but not before I ribbed my husband a little (which he likes, by the way).There are many ways to shift gears when you want to. One of my favorite ways is to meditate or have a cup of tea. Basically, I stop what I'm doing when I get stuck or find myself somewhere I don't want to be and then I do something else for awhile until I feel like I'm ready to go back to what I was doing.

For me, it's a way to get a fresher look at why I'm stuck or how to get out of where I am. It's a change in focus, and we all need that at one point in time.So the next time you feel like you are stuck, keep this in mind: stop, shift gears, and then move forward with a different focus. There's a big chance you will find what you are looking for when you do.

By: Wendi Moore-Buysse